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About Deviant Artist SuprememessageOther/United States Groups :iconhalofanart: HaloFanart
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I have to say that in all honesty this is a hit-and-miss kind of thing. Let me explain constructively why this comes off as a 'meh' for me and what I personally feel the author could do to improve.

The Art:

-Tittangas (Wow those melons)

-Familiar characters (Riding on the popularity)

-TITTANGAS (Cannot overstate the importance of this, as it is the main pro)

-I'm really digging the previews of Rarity and Fluttershy, although I couldn't honestly state a review of the full image for a reason I will explain in the 'Cons' part of this critique.

-Your use of color is amazing.

-The eyes, especially the colored portion, are perfect.


-The face shape doesn't look too refined. Rainbow Dash probably being the biggest example. Her face is, not to be rude, not of the highest quality. And Twilight's jaw is literally a triangle. On the flipside, I really like how Rarity looks as that face shape fits her, but it can't just be a go-to thing for all of their faces as it is a technique for drawing that is generally abandoned once your art isn't amateur, and certainly abandoned when you're asking money for it.

-Let's all be honest here, in this day and age, there is literally tens of thousands of pictures just like these of an equal or higher quality and not a single one asks for payment. In my honest opinion, a better way to go is to ask for donations, because if you're going to make people pay money for something they can easily get for free elsewhere, you aren't going to stand a chance against any of the more renowned artists out there. Besides, I'm sure you'd make more profit off of lump-sum donations than a forced fee to view the art in the first place.

For example, if somebody donated $20 to you outright, that would be the equivalent of selling ten copies of this. If you made your art special and refined your technique I'm sure there would be plenty of people, myself included, who would make such lump-sum donations, but as it stands now I am sure I speak for many when I say that asking people to pay to view your art is kind of ridiculous, especially when it has some questionable quality standards.

-I must again emphasize that the fact you ask a price for the ability to view your art will majorly damage your ability to reach a target audience, I'd like to tell you the fact that you're likely going to drive off many people who would otherwise be fans of your work. If you insist on keeping this pay-for-artwork method of distribution, I must insist that you make one of the six images in the pack available in full for free, so that people can at least be sure of the quality of the product they're receiving.


A piece of art with some flaws, mainly in how the author asks you to pay for it, but with some craftsmanship shown. I am sure that with time the author could be one of the best.
A Polite Conversation by Suprememessage
A Polite Conversation
Two old acquaintances converse near the rotting husks they once called their bodies but now know were only prisons meant to conceal their infinite potential.
Her Smile
A short horror story with several endings.

Her Smile

Written by Harmonic Revelations/Suprememessage

Part 1:

Perhaps what I am about to tell you begs some kind of explanation. The details are important.  On the surface, it's a story about me, but the more I think about it, the more I realize it is her legacy and not my own. The weight of this is crushing me, but I will tell you for her sake.

Where should I begin? Should I begin? I'm still unsure. I suppose if you went through all the trouble of engaging me in conversation, you want something from me, and the very least I owe her enough that I am obligated to relay what I've bore witness to. I'm sorry to say that I don't have anything left to give you but my experiences, in the hopes that you will learn from my mistakes.

 The night that changed me forever, it could have been last week, maybe months ago. Perhaps decades ago. Some stories are timeless. What remains etched into my mind are the blueprints to reconstruct a nightmare. I woke up in my bed, still vaguely warm from my body heat, and sat up. It was early morning, maybe four or four thirty at the latest. The sun had yet to cast it's warm light over my humble home.

I went downstairs to make breakfast, but my mother had already done so.

"Good morning." I managed to grumble back to her. I was surprised that she had cooked pancakes, especially since she was so old and frail. At times she couldn't even walk, so I spent a lot of my day caring for her. "Maybe she was recovering from her condition" was the exact thought that crossed my mind. Why else would she not only be up so early, but be so active?

The doctors had told me it simply wouldn't happen, but they could have been wrong. They had to be. I had already lost my father years earlier. He was a construction worker, and when he was working on painting the side of a building, the scaffolding collapsed right underneath him. He was at least forty feet off the ground, so we obviously weren't able to have an open casket funeral. It was hard to even recognize the man, his face was mangled, the pavement had done a number on his entire body. He only had a subtly human sillhouette.

I still wasn't fully over the loss of him, and I wasn't going to surrender my mother to Huntington's disease. I would fight tooth and nail to hold on to the last bit of family I had left. That being said, I looked at her, a shadow of her former self. Her eye movements were sporadic, and without her medication she would go into fits of Psychosis.

I felt sorry for her, but at the same time thoughts that she was a burden would sometimes ease their way into the deepest parts of my brain. I would always push those thoughts out. Family is perhaps one of the most important things. Living in such a bad neighborhood, I had to be protective of her.

I've felt so alone since father's passing. I had nobody and nothing to truly call my own. My friends seemed so distant that even when surrounded by people the loneliness was looming all around me. I decided I would try to look for some kind of deeper relationship.
I idly looked over to my mother while I ate. My thoughts drifted and I thought back to the crush I had in high school. Her name was Emily. Her hair was a warm and inviting brown, like chocolate. Her eyes were a deep emerald color, and her smile could light up an entire room in seconds.

I had sighed, sitting up from the table. I couldn't bear to sit there and do nothing any longer.

"Going somewhere, dear?" My mother inquired, her words were shaky, like she was standing on a mechanical bull. I helped her sit down in her rocking chair, it was a fine oak seat with a cushion in a floral pattern. The pattern was realistic enough that you could almost smell the lilacs it depicted.

"Are you alright?" I muttered to her.

"I'll be fine. Go on, dear. Don't let me keep you." She said. She did sound a bit better, even if only slightly
I decided that my daily walk would only be a quick one. I walked across our pathetically small living room to the cabinet and retrieved my flip-knife. You can never be too careful in a neighborhood like this one. I also grabbed my cellphone, it was an old one, not a smartphone or anything, but it's reliable. It was a gift from my dad, so I never intended to replace it.

Giving one last glance over to mom before departing, I opened the door and stepped out into the world beyond my small house. It was dim outside, and a cool rain washed over me. I flipped the hood of my sweatershirt over to avoid getting my hair wet, and started heading at a steady pace to the liquor store, a drink can cool a man off even in the worst situations.

Once I neared the entrance, I saw something that instantly brightened my day. Emily was getting out of her car, perhaps having plans similar to mine. I slowly made my way towards her, trying to play it cool. I didn't want to come off as desperate, or worse, creepy.
"Hey Tom, it's been a while." She said with a small smile upon noticing me.

"That it has." Was all I managed to say before getting choked up. She giggled, perhaps noticing how I was tripping over my own words. I had to make a move now if I was going to make one at all.

"Want to come over for a drink later?" I had asked her, my tone of voice was as neutral as I could make it without noticably trying too hard to avoid empty-mindedly staring at her.

"Sure, I'd like that." Was her reply.

"Six sound good?"

"You got it."

After we were done exchanging greetings, I walked into the store and purchased some vodka. I then started to go back home as fast as possible, the rain was now in a down pour. It felt like the sound of the rain was deafening, but perhaps that was just in contrast to the otherwise quiet small town.

Walking up to my front door, I stuck the key in the lock and turned it. I'm sure you know how doors work. What most people don't realize is that they can be so much more. Closed doors can protect you, but they can also hide things from you. The danger of a closed door is that if you've never seen it before, perhaps anything could be on the other side.

Once indoors, I closed the front door behind me, leaving it unlocked for Emily once she got here. Maybe laziness on my part. I grabbed a bottle of vodka from the package I had purchased and put the rest in the fridge. I sat down on the couch which had begun to feel more and more comfy as I sucked down the alcohol. It felt like it could wash all my troubles away. Soon after, I felt myself drifting off, before everything went black.

"You awake?" A familiar voice echoed. It was Emily's.

I opened my eyes to find her beautiful face above mine. I sat up on the couch and looked over to her.
"Sorry about falling asleep like that."

"It's alright." She replied, taking a seat next to me. I could feel the warmth from her body.
"I'll give you two some privacy." My mother said.

"No, no, it's alright. You can't walk upstairs in your condition." I urged. The look in her eyes said she would not relent on her decision, so I got up and assisted her to her room. I then returned downstairs.

Emily and I conversed for what felt like hours, but must have only been about fifteen minutes or so. If I recall correctly, we were talking about our shared memories of high school. I hated those years, except for the fact they provided me opportunity to be close to Emily. Time should be used wisely, or else it will slip, I suppose.

The lights went out suddenly, probably because of the storm. Emily was an Achluophobic, so she was intensely afraid of the dark.
"Tom...the lights!" she said frantically.

"I got it. There's a flashlight and a box of candles in the basement, I'll go get them." I replied.
I thought it a possibility that she would 'reward' me for being so brave and helping her feel safe. Somewhere inside I knew for a fact that was not going to happen. The stairs to the basement were wooden, and creaked quite often. They weren't safe in the slightest, I felt like they might snap under me at any moment, so I descended as fast as I could.

I grabbed the flashlight off it's wall hook and the lighter, and started looking for the box of candles. It was a mess down there, with boxes strewn about every which way, and if I found the candles it would only be by some kind of sheer luck, or maybe divine intervention.

One of those two things must have been on my side, since I found the box almost immediately. I stuck the flashlight into my tool belt and the lighter in my pocket and then proceeded to pick up the box. It was a trivial task, but there aren't a lot of things guys won't do to get laid.

I returned to Emily upstairs and put a few candles on the coffee table, lighting them.
"Better?" I asked.

"Yeah, thanks Tom." She said, her complexion was brighter than the flickering flame from the small candles.

I took my leave for a short while to go into the bathroom. I probably had cobwebs and grime all over me from the barely-maintained room I call my basement. After washing my hands, I looked back at my reflection. It was much cleaner now, at the very least.

Part 2:

I then heard a scream. I knew it was Emily immediately. In this neighborhood any number of horrible people could have been trying to hurt her, so I dashed quickly back to the couch, to find her absent from the room. Instead there was something...standing there. It was vaguely humanoid, but it wasn't right. It's anatomy was off just enough that you could tell it wasn't a person. I think it was the arms. They were long enough that they dragged along the ground as it 'walked'. It's hands featured long claws that scrapped against the ground in a way that made me shiver, blood dripped from them.  It's movement couldn't be called walking with any confidence, as it twitched unnaturally as if it was too fast to see. It's head jutted back and forth like a bobblehead.

I couldn't make out it's facial features as it had what looked to be a potato sack over it's head, tied around it's neck. It was comparable to the way hostages are often shown in ransom videos.  It's skin was a dark gray, and seemed to pulsate like a beating heart.
In that moment, I should have been frozen in fear, but my only thoughts were of Emily and what that terrible thing planned to do to her. I lunged at it with my knife. I didn't think about what I was doing. I just stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, until it's blood ran all over the glimmering blade of the knife and my smooth pale skin. It made vaguely erotic moaning sounds that were muffled by the bag it bore on it's face. That monster wouldn't hurt Emily. I stabbed it repeatedly until it's movement ceased as it lay on the ground.

Then the thought occured to me. What if it had already attacked Emily? Was she alright? I hope that she ran. I would look for her soon, but I needed to make sure my mother was doing okay. I ran up the stairs and towards the master bedroom.

The door was cracked open just a bit. I slowly approached and peaked in, I needed to find her so we could figure out what was going on. I saw her sheets were moved, she must have left, too. I walked into the room and smashed open a gun cabinet towards the back of the room, near the bed. On the other side of the room was a wardrobe.

I grabbed the Glock 18 from within and loaded it. I grabbed as much ammo as I was able to carry, which was not a whole lot. Suddenly the wardrobe behind me burst open, and out came another one of those...things. The inside of the wardrobe was splattered in dark viscous blood, perhaps from the creature.

The creature lunged at me, and not wanting to figure out what it had in mind for me, I opened fire, landing three bullets in it's head. There was a bang as it thudded against the hardwood floor. I needed to find Emily and mom, and I needed to do it fast. Who knew what the hell was going on? If the world was ending I wasn't going to survive it alone.

I made sure I had the flashlight, lighter, gun, and knife before heading back towards the stair case. I heard a disturbing gurgle coming up the stairs, and it was approaching quickly. It turned the corner. It was almost like the others, but it's arms were more proportional to it's body. It had an extra mouth on it's left arm instead of a hand.

The mouth started screaming and globs of blood flew towards me. One hit my right shoulder and it burned like acid. I opened fire back at it, it only took a few shots to go down. I was really glad I had taken sharpshooter lessons in my earlier years. More gurgles were downstairs.

Part 3:

I knew that if I had any chance of finding Emily or Mom I needed to defeat these things and get the fuck out of this place. I braced myself and flung myself around the corner, blindly shooting at the general direction of the gurgles. Luckily I did well enough that I managed to down the two of them that resided down there. They needed to die.

I then thought that I should check the basement again, just to make sure. It would also be defendable against whatever the hell was attacking my house, hopefully. The world felt wrong somehow. Nothing made any sense to me. Where did these creatures come from?
More of the gurgling monstrosities approached from outside. They shot blood through the windows, it seemed to be acidic to an extent. I had only a few choices, and I needed to decide fast.

(Make a choice about how the story progressed. Then go to the part it directs you towards.)
(Choice 1: Fight back. (Go to Part 4 C1)
(Choice 2: Surrender to your fate. (Go to Part 4 C2)
(Choice 3: Run to the basement (Go to Part 4 C3)

Part 4 C1:

Knowing that I'd never make it out of there, I continued shooting back at them until I was out of ammo.

As the gun made a disheartening 'click' I knew it was all over. I sat in the corner and waited while they barged inside. One of the creatures took fire at me, shooting me right through the chest several times.

That's when I snapped out of it. I blinked and suddenly I realized what had happened. The police officers were standing all around me. The bloodied body of Emily laid there near the couch, her smile now imperfect with smears of blood. Her cold eyes stared back at me, almost accusingly.

Two dead policemen laid at the bottom of the stairs. Gun shots lined their bodies. That's when I noticed the bullet holes in my chest and the one in my shoulder. I had killed these people. I was the monster.

I passed out at that point, and when I woke up, I was here in the hospital. I don't think I'm going to survive long enough to retell this story to anyone else. I appreciate you listening to my fucked up story.

Just remember this: The real monsters in the world are people. They hurt others not with fangs and otherwordly powers but with words and guns and hatred.


Part 4 C2:
I decided that I wasn't going to get out of there, so I simply sat there while the creatures rushed in around me, they grabbed me and pulled me outside, smashing my head into the side of the building.

That's when I snapped out of it.

I saw through my window, Emily's body lay crumpled and pale on the floor near the couch. Two policemen lay deceased by the stairs. I tried to explain what had happened to them, but they did not believe me. I wouldn't blame you if you don't either. I then noticed the bullet hole in my right shoulder, and blacked out.

And when I woke up, I was here in the hospital. I don't think I'm going to survive long enough to retell this story to anyone else. I appreciate you listening to my fucked up story.

I don't know how long I've been here. It feels like it could have been years for all I know.
But I saw it on TV.
"Local kills mother, love interest and three police officers."

Just remember this: The real monsters in the world are people. They hurt others not with fangs and otherwordly powers but with words and guns and hatred.


Part 4 C3:

Knowing I was vastly outnumbered, I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I was focused on not getting hit by the globs of dissolving goo that were coming from the monsters outside, and in my distraction I tripped over the corpse of the first monster I saw. I laid there on my stomach, the floor in my face.

After what felt like eternity, a different monster flipped me around so that I was facing it. It had a face like those ancient plague doctor masks, and it's eyes felt like they were boreing holes directly into me. It let out a screech from behind the mask. It made an unintelligible murmur before shoving something into my mouth. It was mostly tasteless, and I swallowed reflexively. This caused me to panic.
Then I snapped out of it.

I was facing upwards, a doctor was standing over me. He claimed that he gave me an anti-psychotic, and that I was suffering from severe hallucinations.

(Choice 1: Believe the doctor? [Continue reading from directly past here])
(Choice 2: Don't believe the doctor. [Go to part 4 C3-B])

I knew in my heart he was right, I felt it. Then when I turned to my left I was faced with horror: looking me dead in the eyes was the mangled corpse of Emily, blood running down her face and onto her teeth. What could have been dozens of stab wounds lined her up and down. I vomitted all over the ground.

As a stretcher arrived, I was carried off. As I neared the door I saw two policemen laying dead on the floor. I gasped.
"Casualties of your psychotic rampage." The doctor commented. He said he would tell me more once we were in the hospital. That's when I noticed the bullet hole in my shoulder.

At that point, I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was here in the hospital. The doctor introduced himself as a Dr. Graustein. He said that the cause of my rampage was Huntington's Disease. He told me that it was passed down from my mother genetically and that it was eating away at my brain, causing my intense hallucinations.

I sobbed for longer than I'd like to admit.

I saw it on TV, on the news. "Local kills mother, love interest and three police officers during psychotic rampage"

It's been a while since that occured. Dr. Graustein told me that once I've healed I'm being transferred to a mental hospital, as they're more equipped to deal with this kind of thing. Plus he said they'll take good care of me.

Now you know my story. I'm sorry for burdening you with such a fucked up tale, but it's the whole truth. I just feel so much regret.
Just remember this: The real monsters in the world are people. They hurt others not with fangs and otherwordly powers but with words and guns and hatred.


Part 4 C3-B
I shook my head, I knew that he was lying. He had to be. These monsters were trying to trick me. I know that if I give in to their suggestions, they win. Something about his tone of voice seemed almost condescending, I felt like he knew something I didn't and was trying his best to hide this fact.

He sighed, and claimed that 'it's worse than I thought'. I then was put on a stretcher. I saw the corpses of the two monsters near the stairs, somehow they had disguised themselves to look like the police.

Then I noticed the bullethole in my shoulder. The bleeding was quite bad, and after that I blacked out.

When I woke up I was here, lying on this bed. I know you might not believe me, but I guarantee this is the whole truth. I am not crazy. The monster calling itself Dr. Graustein says that I got Huntington's, passed down from my mother. He said that the monsters were all in my head, but I know that's not right. This explanation confirmed that he was lying.

How do I know he was lying about inheriting Huntington's?
She was my step-mother, I don't have her genetics.

Sometimes I still hear the screeching from down the halls, when they think I'm asleep and don't bother disguising themselves as doctors.

And on the TV, I saw the headline, "Local kills mother, love interest and three police officers on psychotic rampage."
That's how I know they've infected almost everyone.

When they think my drugs are wearing off, the ones that make me forget, they will inject me with more. They strap me down to a huge rusty metal table, and they inject me with something I don't recognize. It smells like mold.

I think...I think it's some kind of an infection. I know that these things used to be people. Why are the injecting me? Are the two of us immune? Do they not know this?

Why am I confiding in you? Because you are human, I know it. I can feel that you're not one of them. That's why I urge you to run, before they do to you what they did to me.

If you can believe, you'll shatter the delusion and you can see them.
Run, hide. Defend yourself. Don't trust anybody. And most of all, don't trust---

(At that moment, a doctor bursts into the room, interrupting his sentence, going over to Tom and injecting something into his arm. He then puts Tom on a gurney and brings him out of the room. Another doctor then comes in, his nametag says Dr. Graustein. He starts speaking to you)

"Sorry about that sir, it looks like he was having another psychotic episode. "
"I hope he wasn't too... disturbing." he adds.

"Why don't we go to the cafeteria? We can have a drink and we can talk about it a bit. I'm sure you need to clear your head." Graustein suggests.

Something about his smile is vaguely unnerving, but you ignore this for the time being and follow him. The two of you walk for a while. The hospital's fluorescent lights are dimmer than most hospitals you've been to in the past.

There is something vaguely unnerving about the smile on his face. It almost feels like his face is physically being held that way. The two of you enter the cafeteria, the doctor buys two drinks. He makes a hand signal you can't recognize to the server, probably to tell them what he's ordering. He is handed two cups containing a lime green colored liquid.

He leads you over to a table and you sit down slowly. He slides the drink over. He starts to drink his, and as a matter of politeness, you start to drink your own.

"I'm sorry you had to witness Tom's lunacy. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm afraid the psychosis is only getting worse, after all-"

The doctor's words fade out as you feel dizzy, his smile grows and you pass out.

When you wake up you are on a large rusty table, there is an IV injecting some kind of fluid into your arm. It is lime green in color. The room is dull, with the surgical lamp above you being the only light in the room.

In the corner of the room is a creature, it has a mask that reminds you of a plague doctor, and the faint smell of blood and mold is heavy in the air.


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Add a Comment:
Apeiron-MACRO Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav :)
Suprememessage Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014
No problem. ^_^
bobmortar Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch and lama! :D
Suprememessage Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014
No problem, I love your work! :)
EmBeRNaGa Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks for the favorite on my Date A Live Fanart - Tokisaki Kurumi (GTS) drawing! Very much appreciated.

I can't believe people like my stuff. It makes me so happy! *sniff*
Suprememessage Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014
No problem. Your art is amazing. ^_^
BlackSunArmada1993 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013
Thank you for the comment......Llama Emoji 02 (Blush) [V1] ......Man, these Llamas......
Suprememessage Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014
No problem.
xXLanaLovezNiallxX Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks for the watch and llama! :3
Suprememessage Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013
No problem. ^^
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